so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
