problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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