Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
