I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
