Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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