omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
