Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I did not marry a roomba.
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