I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
