Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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