he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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