seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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