Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
