wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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