im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
