She just used a chaser for red wine.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
