It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
worst night to have a conscience
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
