I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
