He told me they were just razor bumps!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was not drunk enough for that final.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
