Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
