hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
time to smoke my breakfast
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
