he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize