Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You're like the curious george of whores
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
