apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
