listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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