I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
