I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
