The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have post one night stand depression
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