I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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