Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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