Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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