end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
