I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
