I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
