i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
