Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
