Me too!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
