I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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