you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
