Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
