their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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