I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
