I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
