She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
