i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
