Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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