you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Girls should come with a carfax report
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
