idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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