Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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