I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish I only lived at night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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