Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
