would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
