And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
