Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
