p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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