i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
