Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
