I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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