I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize